You jelly, bro? Jeah, I thought so!
Aug. 12th, 2012 05:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gryphonseggWhile I was busy last week, something terrilarious happened on the internet.
So there's this swimmer named Ryan Lochte. Besides winning multiple medals in the 2012 Olympics (or the 2022 Olympics, as he tweeted), which is kind of a big deal, Ryan is known for 1) looking very attractive; 2) owning a ridiculously large number of shoes; 3) thinking seven time four is twenty-one instead of twenty-eight; 4) misspelling things on the internet; 5) flubbing interviews in ways that make him look about as bright as Antarctica in July; 6) bad acting in Funny or Die skits; and 7) not having a serious girlfriend or a serious boyfriend either (despite shipper fantasies) but having a history of lots of casual sex. He has attracted a following on Tumblr, made up partly of people who want to have sex with him, partly of people who want him to have sex with one or more of the other Olympic swimmers (usually Michael Phelps-- they even have tinhatters), and mostly of people who just like to look at him, even or perhaps especially when he has that "I don't understand your question or your office supplies" look of confusion on his face. But wait-- it turns out that the majority of these people are women! Attempted murderer and professional mansplainer Hugo Schwyzer does not approve! (The link goes to a tumblr conversation in which fans reblog each others' anti-Schwyzer indignation, not to Schwyzer or Jezebel, so they won't get your hit if you click the link.)
Why do I care about this? Well, in the quoted excerpt from a Jezebel article, Hugo Schwyzer tut-tuts at women who lust after Ryan Lochte despite his "crudity and shallowness," explicitly comparing their presumed fate of not being called after a brief fling with that of the "slutty" girls in slasher films who get punished for having sex by being murdered. Um, Hugo and whoever decided to let him publish that piece of crap on a group-run website? Ryan's not the one whose crudity and shallowness really stand out here. Hugo is the one who made a post (on the same site, imagine that!) basically guilt-tripping women for not being sufficiently accepting and grateful of men ejaculating on their faces. Hugo is the one with the long and publicly recorded history of making snap judgments about women's personalities, values, and motivations based on their clothing. Hugo is the one who has admitted to ATTEMPTING TO MURDER A WOMAN HE SLEPT WITH SHORTLY AFTER CONCLUDING THAT SHE WAS RAPED BY THEIR MUTUAL THEN-DRUG DEALER. That's the terrible part.
After giving it some thought, the inappropriately funny part, the part that put the "larious" in "terrilarious," occurred to me. One of the many, many examples of Hugo doing it wrong with regard to feminism is his tendency to wag a finger at women who wear skirts and heels and other items he finds sexy because he thinks they're being "sexually competitive" and unsisterly and trying to out-do each other at getting men's attention. Can you say "projection"? Hugo also has a history of confessvertising or humble-bragging about his past as "exercise addict" with a vain fixation on athletic competition and sculpting an ideal body. And of course he's infamous for having a large number of ex-lovers, ex-wives, and victims of sexual harassment/assault/coercion who were also his students. I normally don't like the "You're just jealous!" retort, but in this case, the overpriced shoe sure does look like it fits. Hugo probably is jealous that this other guy is better looking and more healthy/fit than Hugo ever was, won several Olympic medals, is buddies with the most decorated Olympian in the world, and is more popular with women both on and off the internet. And being Hugo, he thinks the obvious solution to the discomfort this causes him is to lecture women on how their feelings are bad and they need to stop having and talking about those feelings for their own good. Stop having fun, girls! Professor Feminism knows what's best for you!
So there's this swimmer named Ryan Lochte. Besides winning multiple medals in the 2012 Olympics (or the 2022 Olympics, as he tweeted), which is kind of a big deal, Ryan is known for 1) looking very attractive; 2) owning a ridiculously large number of shoes; 3) thinking seven time four is twenty-one instead of twenty-eight; 4) misspelling things on the internet; 5) flubbing interviews in ways that make him look about as bright as Antarctica in July; 6) bad acting in Funny or Die skits; and 7) not having a serious girlfriend or a serious boyfriend either (despite shipper fantasies) but having a history of lots of casual sex. He has attracted a following on Tumblr, made up partly of people who want to have sex with him, partly of people who want him to have sex with one or more of the other Olympic swimmers (usually Michael Phelps-- they even have tinhatters), and mostly of people who just like to look at him, even or perhaps especially when he has that "I don't understand your question or your office supplies" look of confusion on his face. But wait-- it turns out that the majority of these people are women! Attempted murderer and professional mansplainer Hugo Schwyzer does not approve! (The link goes to a tumblr conversation in which fans reblog each others' anti-Schwyzer indignation, not to Schwyzer or Jezebel, so they won't get your hit if you click the link.)
Why do I care about this? Well, in the quoted excerpt from a Jezebel article, Hugo Schwyzer tut-tuts at women who lust after Ryan Lochte despite his "crudity and shallowness," explicitly comparing their presumed fate of not being called after a brief fling with that of the "slutty" girls in slasher films who get punished for having sex by being murdered. Um, Hugo and whoever decided to let him publish that piece of crap on a group-run website? Ryan's not the one whose crudity and shallowness really stand out here. Hugo is the one who made a post (on the same site, imagine that!) basically guilt-tripping women for not being sufficiently accepting and grateful of men ejaculating on their faces. Hugo is the one with the long and publicly recorded history of making snap judgments about women's personalities, values, and motivations based on their clothing. Hugo is the one who has admitted to ATTEMPTING TO MURDER A WOMAN HE SLEPT WITH SHORTLY AFTER CONCLUDING THAT SHE WAS RAPED BY THEIR MUTUAL THEN-DRUG DEALER. That's the terrible part.
After giving it some thought, the inappropriately funny part, the part that put the "larious" in "terrilarious," occurred to me. One of the many, many examples of Hugo doing it wrong with regard to feminism is his tendency to wag a finger at women who wear skirts and heels and other items he finds sexy because he thinks they're being "sexually competitive" and unsisterly and trying to out-do each other at getting men's attention. Can you say "projection"? Hugo also has a history of confessvertising or humble-bragging about his past as "exercise addict" with a vain fixation on athletic competition and sculpting an ideal body. And of course he's infamous for having a large number of ex-lovers, ex-wives, and victims of sexual harassment/assault/coercion who were also his students. I normally don't like the "You're just jealous!" retort, but in this case, the overpriced shoe sure does look like it fits. Hugo probably is jealous that this other guy is better looking and more healthy/fit than Hugo ever was, won several Olympic medals, is buddies with the most decorated Olympian in the world, and is more popular with women both on and off the internet. And being Hugo, he thinks the obvious solution to the discomfort this causes him is to lecture women on how their feelings are bad and they need to stop having and talking about those feelings for their own good. Stop having fun, girls! Professor Feminism knows what's best for you!
