Maybe tomorrow will be better
Apr. 4th, 2013 08:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gryphonseggI'm having a huge amount of anxiety about what I'm doing as a graduate student today. I feel like I should post about fun fandom things to help myself feel better, but the anxiety birds won't stop squawking at me. Or I should post about serious political issues, but so much as looking at a serious political issue tonight feels like looking into a pit of despair. Or I should just be happy that I had a great visit with my best friend IRL last week and I don't have any business having negative feelings so soon. Ugh. I'll try to make a real post tomorrow. Right now, I just feel horribly uncomfortable with my life.
Also, I was going to wash test tubes to prepare for an experiment, but I couldn't do that because the protective gloves I would need for the acid bath were gone. And I couldn't get a private meeting with my advisor, so I had to ask my painfully ignorant questions at the lab meeting and look like a fool in front of everyone. I graduated from a college that was way too small to offer the kind of research experience that undergrads get here, and my master's program mostly consisted of me being left to flail around and work things out on my own with some guidance from a lab manager who only had master's herself and wasn't even much older than I was. So I am still asking noob questions and trying to catch up with the other students who started the program at the same time I did but who came into it with a lot more lab experience.
Also, I was going to wash test tubes to prepare for an experiment, but I couldn't do that because the protective gloves I would need for the acid bath were gone. And I couldn't get a private meeting with my advisor, so I had to ask my painfully ignorant questions at the lab meeting and look like a fool in front of everyone. I graduated from a college that was way too small to offer the kind of research experience that undergrads get here, and my master's program mostly consisted of me being left to flail around and work things out on my own with some guidance from a lab manager who only had master's herself and wasn't even much older than I was. So I am still asking noob questions and trying to catch up with the other students who started the program at the same time I did but who came into it with a lot more lab experience.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-06 09:22 pm (UTC)DON'T FEEL SO DOWN CUZ YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS PROGRAM WOULDN'T HAVE ACCEPTED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE CHOPS FOR IT! And yeah it's embarrassing to ask really obvious questions, but you know what? I bet someone in that group was just as lost if not more lost than you were and was glad that someone had the ovaries to ask.
And anxiety birds will quiet down eventually even if it doesn't seem like it.
Besides you don't have to post about political stuff all the time. No one can constantly spit fires of truth.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-07 08:21 pm (UTC)I've started feeling better by now. Pretty much every year I go into what I've come to call my spring slump, when I my mood problems act up terribly even if there's nothing objectively bad in my life. It started later than usual this year, and it didn't last as long, possibly because I've been busy with manageable RL problems that I actually have a hope of solving instead of just spinning my wheels and looking at all the things beyond my control.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-09 06:17 am (UTC)